


Old Dog, New Tricks

by coulsons-hawk (allyoop)



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bodyswap, Canon Divergence, Cheeky Bants with the Lads, Crack, Cute, Dubious Science, Explosions, Feelings, First Time, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Content, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:27:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyoop/pseuds/coulsons-hawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a big bang, a freaky accident, and somehow Eggsy and Harry switch bodies. They handle this situation about as well as a cat thrown in water. </p><p>AKA Crack fic, porn without plot (yet those pesky ~feelings~ still get involved and it's quite cute)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Dog, New Tricks

**Author's Note:**

> I blame the usual suspects for dragging me (quite happily) into this fandom. Bless you Kingsman fandom, you're a lovely place.

He couldn't remember much; just the sound of guns and frantic shouting, and the sharp smell of acidic burning. In after thought, he really should have realised what that added up to. There was a flash. Someone tackled him hard to the ground as a bang erupted all around them. And then there was nothing but black.

 

 

Eggsy woke up who knows how much later with a headache like a fucking tap dance in his skull and his every bone ached as if they’d been wrought inside out. He rolled over with a loud grunt of effort, and tried to stand up to search the room for Harry and -

He almost collapsed back to the ground; his breath was knocked out of him. He saw _himself_ on the floor a short distance away. Eggsy stumbled towards the passed-out figure, wondering if he was hallucinating, if this was some aftereffect of the bomb. He kneeled next to not-Eggsy and poked him hard, ignoring whatever proper route of waking-up he should follow.

"Oi" he said, poking again "Bruv, wake up and tell me the fuck’s happened?" Eggsy groaned and rubbed his forehead, really wishing this jackhammer between his ears would stop.

"If you keep squinting like that, you're only going to make the migraine worse," it spoke, this not-Eggsy that looked like Eggsy. He looked down at his own face, hearing his own voice but different: the accent was there but the intonation was all wrong.

"Who’re you and why d’you look like me?”

Not-Eggsy sat up and straightened his tie before looking around the room. He met Eggsy's gaze and a familiar look of shock crossed his face. “My god…”

“Is this some kinda trick? Did the bomb release a hallucinogen? Am I talking to myself?”

“Well, in a matter of speaking…”

The not-Eggsy reached out and brushed a hand across his face. It was odd, like watching a warped mirror image touch him. “I’m not sure what technology could cause this.”

“What’re you talking about, not-Eggsy?”

His eyebrows shot up. “Have you taken a glance at yourself yet?”

“I’m looking at ‘em right now, aren’t I?”

Not-Eggsy took his hands and raised them to eyelevel. Eggsy looked down and laughed. “Have I gotten old somehow? Why would I hallucinate such a shit-” He paused. He ran his hands over his face, feeling the different skin, the different shape. Eggsy stood up suddenly and everything was slightly further down. He was taller. _How?_ He spun around the room; this was the same place as before. There was no one else here but him and not-Eggsy… and now he was taller, dressed in a different suit, a different _skin_.

“Fuckin’ hell.”

“Language!” not-Eggsy lightly scolded. “Don't say those things with my tongue.”

“With your-?” and everything fell into place. “Did we just fuckin’ switch bodies?”

Not-Eggsy who was really Harry stood up and dusted off his suit. “Your reasoning is certainly a bit slower than normal. Perhaps it’s the shock? But yes, it appears we seem to have switched consciousness. You are me and I am you.”

Eggsy ran a hand over his strange new face. “This is just too fuckin’ weird, Harry.”

“Eggsy, really.” His posture was clearly Harry, but seeing _his_ body do it was just wrong. Eggsy couldn't help but think he was watching himself do a terrible Harry impression.   
“Should we call Merlin?”

“We certainly need to. I don't think we should attempt to take any public transportation while in this… state. Who knows what else was affected in the switch. And-” he looked around the room, a very-Harry downturn affecting his lips. “The mission seems to have failed anyways.”

Eggsy patted his suit down, trying to find where Harry kept his Kingsman radio.

“The cufflinks”

“Ah, thanks not-Eggs- Harry.” He pressed the cufflinks and spoke into them. “Merlin? Sir? We need transport to take us home. We've gotten into a bit of a situation.”

Merlin's voice popped loud and clear into his ears through the glasses. “Galahad, can you clarify? You sound a bit-”

“Can't explain it all over the cufflinks, but Harry and I- Eggsy and I- we got a bit, er, _mixed up_.”

There was a moment of silence and then Merlin spoke again. “I’m sending an autopilot car right now. It should be there in about twelve minutes. You two don't do _anything_ until you're back, are we clear?”

”Thanks, Mer. Will do. Or I guess, will don't.”

Harry-not-Eggsy stared at him. “ _Mer?_ ”

“I shorten names over comms. You’re Gal.”

It was so odd, not being able to decipher a look on his own face. “ _Gal_. Really.”

“Syllables are fuckin’ awful when you're in the middle of a fight. Kingsman should really consider code names that aren't such a mouthful.”

Harry looked at him with half amusement and bafflement. “I’ll put it in the suggestion box.”

Eggsy grinned at him, knowing he was joking in that Harry way. He looked at his own face smiling back and realised just how odd it was in this new body, feeling taller and older all of a sudden. He wondered what else was different. Eggsy ran a slow hand down his chest, his ribs… Harry was _fit_ , clearly not having gone slack in his later years. His hands reached his hips and-

“Eggsy!” he saw Harry blushing. “Just what do you think you are doing?”

This flustered Harry was new to him. He liked it. “Just feeling out your body, seeing what's bigger.”

Harry's flush deepened. “What do you mean-?”

“You're _taller_. Your torso is longer...” Eggsy let his hands trail down from his hips to his thighs. “Things are different”

“Well, I’ll have you know that everything is completely normal and the same. It's just a _body_ , Eggsy.”

“Well, it’s not just anyone's, it’s _yours._ ” Eggsy didn't mean to put such an emphasis there, but apparently it was fucking subtext day. It wasn't lost on Harry, whose eyes widened with a dawning realisation. “I mean, it's not mine and I'm curious about- I mean I wanted to feel your- no, I mean-” Eggsy was only digging his hole deeper.

Harry stepped forward and took his hands, leading them away from his hipbones. “This is a _very_ public place. There are eyes everywhere and it seems-” he tilted his head towards an engine purr outside the nearby window. “Our car is here.”

He felt dumbstruck, standing so close to Harry ( _to himself?_ ) with his hands still lingering in Harry's. “Guess we should go then, yeah?”

“Merlin _will_ sort this out.”

Eggsy just nodded and walked towards the car, losing his balance only once or twice on these new longer legs. He chalked that tingly moment with Harry up to shock. The bomb clearly had many aftereffects.

Harry snuck a glance at Eggsy as they drove in silence. He was sitting like Harry’s opposite despite current appearances. His legs weren’t crossed and his fingers were drumming incessantly on the windowsill. Even his face looked wrong; twisted with an openly worried expression that Harry had not shown in years. Eggsy looked so exposed in Harry's body, displaying all the youthful emotions Harry had worked to hide as an agent. He touched his own face lightly; it was still hot. Emotions ran high in Eggsy's body it seemed. Harry leaned away and looked out the window. He wondered why he had blushed so deeply; was it because Eggsy was touching his body? Was it because he was ‘ _curious’_? Did that mean Eggsy-?   
Harry felt a flush rise again in his cheeks and he fought fruitlessly to still it. Clearly, he was going to have quiet _certain_ thoughts if he wanted to stay calm in this body.

 

 

Merlin came out to personally greet them when they pulled into HQ. He held a large umbrella, but it wasn't raining. The sky looked a threatening grey, as it usually did this time of year, but the clouds hadn’t emptied yet. He gestured for them both to duck under it.

“We need to shield you from the rest of the agents until we-”

“You can fix this, yeah?” Eggsy huddled under the umbrella and Harry joined him at his side. Merlin looked back and forth between them, easily reading the stark difference in posture and facial expression.

“Let’s wait until we're inside to talk.”

“I’m not sure this is really necessary.” Harry spoke up as they shuffled awkwardly together into the side entrance.

“Trust me,” Merlin sounded amused. “Its shockingly obvious.”

Safely in Merlin's computer hub, Eggsy flopped onto the couch, feeling exhausted from literally walking a mile in Harry's shoes. “I don't know how you do this everyday. You know your left knee is kinda clicky? What d'ya do to it?”

“Bad mission a while ago. Took a nasty fall and it hasn't been quite right since.” Harry immediately crossed to Merlin's station and turned on the teakettle. “I need something bloody strong” he muttered to himself.

Merlin couldn't hold it anymore. He laughed hard, clutching his stomach, just looking back and forth at them. “This is _astounding_.”

“I’m so glad you can find the humour in every situation, Merlin, but-”

“Harry, -” he was still chuckling, even as he pulled up the relevant mission data. “You've got all the reason to be pissed right now, but let me laugh. This is bloody hilarious.”

Eggsy couldn't help but join in, his laugh a little too breathy to be comfortable. He was still oddly nervous, still wanting to explore this new skin but not quite knowing what to do with that thought.

Even Harry smiled. “Its funny, I know. I’m just-” he blushed and turned pointedly away from Eggsy. “This is very awkward.”

“Understatement.” Eggsy chimed in, rising to join Merlin and Harry at the computer screen. “I feel like a bloody giant.”

“I’m not _that_ much taller than you. Your posture is just terrible and-”

“Well you stand like you've got a rod up your arse-”

“And clearly all these months of training haven't quite turned you into the gentleman you really should be by now-”

“At least I’m not a-”

“ _Boys_ , really.” Merlin grinned and pointed at the video data on the screen. “I know you're both getting adjusted to your new bodies and hormones and-”

“ _Hormones?_ ” Harry cut in.

“But we may have a clue here.” The video Merlin had grabbed off a security cam in the warehouse replayed the room’s explosion in slow-mo. “See how there's two flashes before the bang? One is orange and the other white. That might help us detect what the components in the explosion were. And look here: see how all the enemy agents dispersed before the bang? They knew what was going to happen. If we could interrogate one-”

Harry stood up straight “I’ll go. I have a pretty clear idea of the escape routes and with my capability-”

“Oi, 'scuse you Harry, but you're _me_ now. Don't think you can catch one so easily anymore _sir_. Might want to send me, an _experienced_ man, to do the job, yeah?” He winked at Harry, who looked irritated.

“Actually neither of you are going.” Merlin interrupted. Both Harry and Eggsy turned to him with identical annoyed expressions. “You’re not in a proper state to do anything other than sit the hell down and _do nothing_. Do you two realise what type of trouble you could unleash like this? We don’t know if this is infectious, if everyone will just start swapping bodies because you touch them. Or even worse, you two could make some _very_ poor decisions while in each other’s bodies. At the very least, you’d cause chaos amongst the Kingsmen, thinking you're spies in very good disguises.”

“Ah.” Harry pressed his lips together displeased, but he couldn't argue. He glanced at Eggsy and started to imagine the havoc he could cause if he wanted to. Harry's fingerprint alone could access a whole database of hidden files if only he-

“So what d’you suggest we do then? Sit around and wait for others to do our jobs?”

“Yes.” Merlin crossed his arms, adopting his _'this is a serious matter’_ pose. “You two need to stay put and stay together. Go to Harry's house and do not leave. We really cannot have anyone outside this group of three find this out. Agreed?”

“Of course Merlin. You're absolutely right.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes. “You’re both bloody overreacting, but yeah. I'll stick to this one like glue.”

“Did you think body swapping was possible, Eggsy?”

“Er, no?”

“Exactly. And what do most people do when confronting the impossible?”

“Freak the fuck out?”

Merlin laughed. “Exactly. Do you see my point?”

“Gotcha. I won’t leave Harry.”

If Harry blushed, he blamed these _hormones_ rushing about in this younger body. He wasn't at all thinking about subtext, no not at all.

Merlin handed them a small tablet. “This will be a live feed of the mission, the same screens that I watch. That way you don't feel out of the loop.”

“Excellent.” Eggsy grabbed it. “Does it have games too, if we get bored watching?” He winked.

Merlin sighed and faced Harry. “Keep him entertained somehow. Otherwise he's going to burn your body out before the mission even starts. He’s got the mind of a restless puppy trapped in the body of an old dog.”

“Should I be insulted, Mer? Or should Harry?”

He saw Harry chuckling and Merlin smiled. “Harry's always been an old dog with new tricks, but that's a story for later, when you're both properly back in your bodies. Now _go_. The rest of us have henchmen to find.”

“Sir, yes sir.” Eggsy grinned and nudged Harry as they walked out the door. “New tricks, eh? Got anything you could show me back in your room?”

They both blushed after staring at each other a little too long. Harry wasn't sure anymore where the line between subtext and text was, but he thinks they might have just crossed it.

 

 

“So.”

Eggsy flopped onto Harry's bed, looking extremely un-Harry-like in Harry's own room. He perched on the edge of the bed next to Eggsy, fidgeting with the tablet in hand.

“So this is your room, then? Kinda sparse.”

And it was. Even in all these years of living here it was still a magazine cutout of a tastefully designed English house in his particular neighborhood. There was his dog of course, and the knickknacks he's collected over the years. But there was a conspicuous lack of personal photographs. It wasn't that Harry didn't have any (but if he was honest, he really didn't have any) but why display photos of himself when he was the only one that lived there? Seeing things through Eggsy's eyes, literally, made him see how _empty_ his well-decorated house seemed, since it was missing any human presence but himself. Eggsy had bypassed all the rooms (he had been there before; he didn't exactly need the tour again) and went straight to the bedroom, spreading out on the bed like it was his. And in some ways it sort of was.

“You’ve been in my house before, Eggsy.”

“Yeah I know. But not your room”

“Exactly. Why are you in here anyways?  
“Oh, um.” Eggsy blushed and Harry felt like a teen again, seeing such color flush on his face. “I’m not sure? I’m a bit tired and the bedroom seemed the most comfortable place to crash.” He sat up again, leaning a little too close to Harry. “You’re old body gets tired fast, don’t it Harry?”

“It’s probably just the shock. Usually my endurance is quite good and-” he cut himself off. Why does everything he say seem to sound like…

“Oh really? Just _how good_ is your endurance? Would you like to elaborate?” Eggsy was making fun of him now. There was a glint in his eyes.

“I’m quite prestigious in the bedroom if you have to know.” He laughed at Eggsy's sudden blush. “Oh, was that not what you were wishing to know?”

“Yes I want- no I mean, I wanted to know- Harry I just-” He was sputtering, and it was endearing.

“You really are feeling awkward in my body, aren't you Eggsy? You’re distinctively less smooth than you usually are.”

“I fuckin’ am.” He sighed in relief. Harry seemed to understand. “Everything is just so _off_. It’s similar, obviously, your body. It’s human, it’s male… just taller and longer and I feel like I'm wearing your skin and doing really badly. All my limbs don't seem to want to work with my brain, and my walking is a totally different stride and-”

“Me too.” He touched Eggsy's shoulder, trying to calm his agitation. “I feel terribly young again, but my mind is still so old. My thoughts are at wage with your hormones and I’ve completely forgotten what it's like to be your age.”

“Hormones?” He sounded curious.

“Eggsy, please. You must know what I’m talking about; it is _your_ body after all. My heartbeat is faster, my face flushes easily, and my body itches for warm hands and a mouth and-” He shook his foggy head. “How do you even function in Kingsman if you’re this _horny_ all the time?”

Eggsy looked agape. “Harry, I'm usually not. This is _you,_ not me.”

“Oh come on. I haven't felt this way since-” Harry stared at Eggsy and started to realise something.

“Wait a sec- what exactly is triggerin’ this? It’s not _me_ is it? I mean, your body? This isn’t some sort of weird masturbation fantasy?”

“ _No_ , no, no. This is-” This was his crush on Eggsy coming out to play now that it didn't have decades of Kingsman training to keep it contained. Looking at Eggsy, even in his own body, made him start to wonder about all the 'tricks’ he could teach him now that they were confined in his bedroom _alone_. “Ah, nevermind. I’m just feeling young again. Everything must be hitting me at once; all the bad and good.”

“Yeah, okay.” Eggsy didn't really buy it. He leaned in closer, bumping shoulders with Harry, wanting to test a theory. “So would it be okay then if I touched your body? To get accustomed to it and feel less awkward?”

'To feel less awkward?” Harry echoed, feeling extremely out of breath. “Are you asking permission to touch yourself- _myself_?”

'These pronouns are confusing.” He shrugged out of his jacked and started unbuttoning his shirt. “It’s your body but right now it's myself. So what do I call it?” Eggsy ran a slow hand down his newly exposed chest, fingers spending extra time on every one of Harry's scars.

'That one is from a shotgun in Macau.” His voice sounded very far away to his ears. Harry couldn't glance away from Eggsy's slow exploration of his body.

“And this one?” his hand hovered over a scar on his hip, tracing it below his waistband.

“Knife fight in Ireland. Not even a mission; just me as a dumb adolescent.”

Eggsy slid his hands to undo his belt, mind racing to process what was happening but his body- Harry's body- was tingling too much with _anticipation_ to bother with things like thoughts. He unbuckled the belt, eyes not leaving Harry's, and-

“Kingsmen!”

They both startled, eyes suddenly on the tablet screen. A little video screen with Merlin's face had appeared. Harry prayed to every god he could name that Merlin could not see what was happening.

“Merlin, we're here.” He gestured for Eggsy to rebutton his shirt and picked up the tablet. “What is the situation?”

“I can't see both of you right now, if you were wondering.” Harry blanched. That would be a very non sequitur statement if he didn't have the sinking feeling that- “Merlin, could you hear us?”

“Lets talk about the mission at hand.”

That was answer enough for Harry.

Eggsy appeared, thankfully clothed, at his side. “Find 'em yet?”

“Lancelot found one of the men pretty quickly. She’s interrogating him right now.”

“We're missing all the fun!”

"Oh, there’s plenty of fun still to be had, I’m sure” Merlin shot a significant look at Harry. “I’ve been analyzing the explosions as well as the residue and materials left at the scene. I might be able to recreate whatever happened and potentially reverse the effect it had. But there's a missing puzzle piece. I’m curious… were you two touching when the explosion set off?”  
Eggsy coughed in a very undignified way for Harry's face to look. “ _Touching?!_ ”

“He doesn’t mean that, obviously” Harry responded a little too quickly. “And yes we were. I had tackled Eggsy to the ground after the first flash.”

“Well,” Merlin tapped something into his computer. “We'll have to recreate those exact parameters again in order to reverse the process. Lancelot?” He spoke into his microphone, eyes flitting to the screen displaying the interrogation. “Have you gotten what we need yet?”

“He spilled the formula, if that's what you mean.” Roxy spoke up, humour in her voice. “Really, Merlin. You keep giving me the easy assignments.”

“They're only easy because it's you doing them. Did you get the formula?”  
“Already sent it to you.”

“Spectacular. Thank you Roxy.”

“Hey Merlin, are we still on for dinner or-”

“I must let you go for now Lancelot; I’ll check back in later.” Eggsy glanced at Harry who just shrugged. Merlin looked up from his handheld tablet, smiling. “I’ve got it. Are you two ready?”

“Er, for what?”

“To recreate the explosion and hopefully switch you back.”

“I do hope we're doing this in a controlled environment and not in the middle of my room?”

“Of course we are Harry.” A cheeky glint danced in his eye. “Being in Eggsy's body is making you cranky. Feeling a bit hot and bothered in there?”

“Just tell us where we’re going, Merlin.”

Eggsy watched Harry's face as inconspicuously as he could. He was definitely blushing, and if his reaction just a moment ago told Eggsy anything… He was feeling a bit hot under the collar, alright. Eggsy couldn't help but hope _he_ was causing that, and not whatever youthful hormones Harry was yammering about.

“Come back to HQ and meet me in lower level B.”

“Be there in twenty, Merlin.”

 

 

The car ride had been another silent but oddly heated affair. There was an air of interrupted _something_ and they were both grateful to get back to the familiarity of the Kingsman building and the plain grey walls of the lower level basements.

Merlin opened a heavy door in the hall and gestured for them to enter. “Reinforced steel. Just in case.”

Harry stepped in and Eggsy followed, casting a wary eye at the table of implements and ingredients in the middle of the room. After a couple minutes of looking between his clipboard and the table, Merlin nodded at Harry and began to leave the room.

“Oi-!” Eggsy felt out of the loop. “What's goin’ on? Why’d he nod at you?”

“You have about thirty seconds before the bang,” Merlin called out from the doorway. “So make sure you get into position before then. Good luck.” He closed the door and left Harry and Eggsy alone in the room.

“ _Um?_ ”

“I’m going to set the reaction off and, as Merlin said, we need to get immediately into position.” He gestured between them. “Touching each other like we were the first time.”

“We’re just goin’ stand here next to a _bomb_ and then what? Hug it out and hope for the best?”

“It's only a small bomb.” It was a poor jest and Eggsy rolled his eyes. Now alone, Harry reached out and cupped Eggsy's cheek, trying to convey a whole novel of unsaid words in just a look. “There's always risks, but this is the only thing we can try.”

“I know.” He leaned into Harry's hand. Even though it was his body, it had all of Harry's warmth flowing through. “This whole thing is just shit.”

“It really is.” He glanced around the room, hand still absentmindedly stroking Eggsy's jaw. “You go to the corner and I’ll run to you after I set the bomb off.”

He was pointing at the farthest corner from the table. “You sure you can make it in thirty seconds? We've got to be touching too.”

“I have younger legs now. I’ll be fine.”

Eggsy forced himself to believe Harry. This was their only real chance to switch back, so they had to do it. He crossed to the corner, trying not to look too worried back at Harry standing by himself at the table. “This far enough?”

Harry nodded and took a deep breath, one hand hovering over the last bit of the formula. Once he added this ingredient, an instantaneous chemical reaction would begin and the resulting explosion would hopefully be the one they need. He glanced towards Eggsy. _The one he needs…_ The thought crossed his mind unconsciously. He really had been stifling his attraction to the younger man and well, now he just hoped they lived long enough to see where it would take them.

He tipped the glass into the mixture and it began to foam with a wicked gush. He sprinted towards Eggsy, arms outreached, and leapt at him much like he did before. Except this time, Eggsy rolled them over, shielding Harry with his body and pressed his lips to Harry's. He murmured “ _Just in case_ ” and kissed the breath out of them both. The explosion knocked them hard across the floor and they crashed against the wall.

He blacked out.

 

 

“ _Shit_.” Eggsy felt his stomach turn inside out as he stood up from his position on the floor, his balance completely out of whack and his whole body one giant bruise. He flung his arms out, reaching blindly with dizzy eyes, and happily found what he was looking for.

“Don't you dare-” Harry mumbled as he pulled himself up. “Don't poke me again.”

“Harry!” Ignoring his aching bones, Eggsy pressed himself against Harry, kissing him just as he had before. But now it was better; he was in his own body and he knew how to use it. He pushed Harry against the wall, so happy to be back in the right body, _alive_ and here with Harry. Two hands wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer and closer until there was nothing but clothes between them.

The door slammed open and Eggsy almost bit his tongue in surprise.

“Success?” Merlin called out from the entryway. They jumped back from each other with such comedic reactions that Merlin struggled to contain his laughter. “Are you back in your appropriate bodies?”

Harry patted himself up and down, checking his limbs and straightening himself to his usual stance. “Everything is normal and accounted for.”

Eggsy, still a bit winded from the kiss, just muttered “Yeah, same. All good.”

Merlin gave a curt nod. “Glad to hear. Just in case, we should check you over and-”

“I have a full med kit back in my house; I can easily check myself over. And Eggsy as well, if he finds that acceptable?”

“Back to your place? Yeah that’s fine” His mind was racing. Was Harry inviting him back or _inviting him back_ with every connotation of the act?

“Back to my residence it is.”

Merlin shrugged. “Honestly, I have plans tonight anyways. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do”

“D'you mean medically or like-?”

Merlin winked at Eggsy and strolled down the hallway, his plans clearly giving him a bounce to his step.

“Well Eggsy, it seems we'll be having dinner together. And double checking that our bodies are back to normal, of course”

“A nice dessert too, right Harry?” His grin came easily. A flush creeped slightly across Harry's cheeks.

“If you want.”

“I do want.”

Harry had to break the eye contact, smiling to himself as they walked back to the car. _Fuck subtext_ , as Eggsy might say. The signs were clear and Harry was honestly overjoyed to see them.

This car ride was full of pleasant banter, arguing over what dinner should be. Harry had only just gotten Eggsy to agree to vegetables with his protein when they arrived back to the house. Harry opened the front door for him, still trying to maintain some sort of usual decorum, but all was lost when Eggsy slammed him against the door as it closed. He kissed him like he had been waiting for centuries, not just minutes. He quickly slipped his hands under Harry's shirt, running them along now-familiar scars.

“But what of dinner-” He managed in a breath between kisses.

“Harry, _really_.”

He spun them around, pinning Eggsy to the door by his hips, his mouth only inches away from Eggsy's lips. “Well Eggsy, it seems you're the only meal I’ll need tonight.”

He chuckled breathily. “That was awful Harry. Has it been too long since you dirty talked-?”

Harry sucked hard at Eggsy's neck, leaving a trail of hickeys down to his collarbone. Eggsy couldn't help but throw his head back against the door with a gasp.

“What did I say?”

“ _Prodigious in the bedroom_. Then show me, Harry.”

He lifted Eggsy up, taking advantage of his height over the younger man. “Actually it was prestigious, but I’ll take prodigious too.”

Eggsy laughed and wrapped himself tighter against Harry, half awed and half aroused at how easily Harry carried him into the bedroom.

Harry laid him backwards onto the bed and began to take off his jacket and shirt, draping them against the desk chair. Eggsy showed no such restraint and shrugged out of his clothes as quickly as he could manage the buttons. Soon he was in nothing but underwear, lying against the sheets and staring as Harry slowly undid his belt.

“You tryin’ to torture me here?”

Harry glanced at him with a cheeky grin. “Maybe.”

Eggsy sat up and reeled Harry in by the belt loops. “I’m sure it’s been a while, old dog. Let me show you how it's done.” He quickly pulled off the belt and pushed Harry’s pants down. Now face to face with Harry's obvious erection straining through his underwear, he lost his momentum.

A warm hand carded through his hair and tilted his head gently back until he was looking up at Harry.

“You're comfortable with this, yes?”

Eggsy nodded rapidly, still a little tongue-tied at seeing so much more of Harry than he thought he would ever score.

“How would you like it?”

“Um, I-” He racked his brain, trying to remember all those wank fantasies he's had and blushing even deeper at the thoughts. “Fuck me _hard_. Please?”

Harry bent down to pull Eggsy into a searing kiss. They pulled away breathing hard. “Of course. Whatever you want.”

Eggsy scooted down the bed until his head was at the pillows again. Harry climbed slowly on top of him and the anticipation made his heart rattle against his ribs. Harry was beautiful; all long legs and taut body covered in scars. He had a thousand stories etched into his skin and Eggsy wanted to learn them all. Harry reached down and tugged at Eggsy's waistband, so he lifted his hips and his underwear was slid off. He felt extremely naked and open underneath Harry like that and he was sure his flush was reaching flame-red levels. Harry pressed his lips lightly to Eggsy's whispering, “ _You're so beautiful_.” He left a trail of kisses along his jaw and collarbone, drifting down to kiss where Eggsy was sure his heart was just about to burst out. Then a hand was cupping his hardened cock and Eggsy couldn't help but push into the touch.

“Eager?”

“If you don't fuck me soon I swear I’ll just turn around and-”

“What? Ride me so hard we both forget our names?” He stroked Eggsy's cock absentmindedly, making the man gasp and thrust up into his palm.

“Yeah, that.” Eggsy pulled at Harry's hips, tugging him closer until their bodies were flush. “You'll love it, me on top of you, riding you like it’s a fuckin’ horse race. Coming so hard in me you forget what it's like to be with anyone else-”

Harry was grinding against Eggsy's hip, wildly turned on by the tone of his voice, by each thrust Eggsy rolled against him. He quickly pulled down and kicked off his own underwear, losing the last layer of anything between them. Eggsy could feel how hard Harry was against him, the heavy weight of his cock pressing against his thigh. He snaked his hands down to Harry's ass, relishing the touch of unclothed skin against his palms.

Suddenly, Harry sat back on his heels and Eggsy immediately missed the close contact. Harry rifled through his nightstand, smiling as he found what he needed. Eggsy grabbed the condom from Harry's fingers and rolled it onto Harry's cock, going as tantalizingly slow as he could, grinning wider at each little gasp from Harry.

“Are you loud in bed, Harry?” He grinned up at him.

“I can be. If its good.”

Eggsy leaned forward and licked along Harry's shaft, never breaking eye contact. Harry tugged at his hair, pulling him closer, wanting more of that hot mouth on him.

“Like that, huh?” He swirled his tongue lightly at Harry's sensitive head, making the older man swear under his breath. “Well I want this-” He leaned back and away from Harry. “ _In_ me. And I don't mean my mouth.”

Eggsy lifted his arms above his head and spread his knees out, raising an eyebrow at Harry. It was a challenge and Harry loved meeting those _thoroughly_.

He ripped open the lube packet and spread a generous amount onto his fingers. He ran one finger across Eggsy's hot hole, and Eggsy lifted his legs even higher.

“C'mon, old dog. _Faster_.”

“Are you going to keep calling me that?” He slipped one finger in and rubbed it lightly back and forth, letting Eggsy open against him.

“Gonna keep doin’ it 'til you show me your tricks.”

Harry slid another finger in, scissoring them and making Eggsy grind into his touch.

“Oh, _Eggsy_.” He pushed three fingers in, seeing how ready he was for it, already thrusting against Harry's hand to pull him in further. “Be careful what you wish for.” He crooked his fingers, quickly finding that sweet spot that made him moan.

“ _Harry-_ ”

“Yes?”

“Please fuck me – _god, yes!_ \- hard, so fuckin’ hard. Give me everything.”

He pulled his fingers out suddenly, leaving Eggsy gasping at the sudden emptiness. Harry rubbed the rest of the lube onto his cock and lined himself up. Without a word, he lifted Eggsy up a bit and thrust hard into him, bottoming out in one long movement.

“- _arry!_ ” He felt so full he felt he barely had room to breathe. “Yes, _more_ , fuck yes!”

Harry pulled all the way out and pushed hard back in, working up a fast rhythm. Eggsy moaned beneath him, barely forming any words other than _fuck!_ and _harder, please, more_. He almost laughed; it figures that the best way to shut up the ever-mouthy Eggsy would be to fuck him. He felt hands reach out to him, trying to pull him closer. Harry pinned Eggsy's wrists above his head.

“No.” There was a slight growl in his voice that made Eggsy’s cock grow somehow harder. “Do what I tell you.”

“As you wish, _sir_.” Harry struggled to keep his steady rhythm going with that man grinning up at him. “Lift your legs higher.”

Eggsy complied and crossed his ankles around Harry's neck, bent almost double now. At Harry's expression, he just winked “Gymnastics is useful for lotsa stuff.”

“We'll test that flexibility soon enough.” He took a pillow and shoved it below Eggsy's hips, angling him perfectly. Harry thrust hard into him, and knew the angle was right when Eggsy closed his eyes with a deep moan and reached backwards, grasping to find a handhold.

“Right there?” Harry kept pounding into him, feeling Eggsy's own upward thrusts stagger out of rhythm.

“You-” he gasped. “ _Bastard_. You know that's good.” He pushed hard against Harry, drawing him deep inside him. “Stop askin’ me.”

Harry reached between them to stroke Eggsy's hard cock, the head leaking with pre-cum. “Just making sure this old dog is doing his tricks right.”

“Oh, fuck you Harry, you fuckin- _oh!_ -” He choked on his words as Harry rubbed his thumb as his sensitive head. Between the cock thrusting in him and the hand on his own, Eggsy could barely think nonetheless speak. The orgasm was coiling hard and hot in his stomach.

Harry could feel that tight knot in his stomach too. Eggsy was flushed and gorgeous below him, thrusting up against Harry, giving just as good as he got. Eggsy was right on one point; it _had_ been a while, and the tight heat around his cock was pulling his orgasm out of him sooner than later. Eggsy, ignoring commands, pulled Harry in by his neck and met him in a teeth-clattering kiss.

“I’m gonna-”

“Go ahead.” He stroked Eggsy in time with each thrust, making the younger man struggle to catch his breath.

“Harry, I-” He struggled to form words. “ _Love you_.” He came with a loud gasp, cum streaking across Harry's hand and stomach. The tight clench of Eggsy around his cock pulled his own orgasm from him and Harry moaned against Eggsy's mouth, wanting to return the words, wanting to say _anything_ , but failing in the moment as he shuddered and thrust sporadically into Eggsy. There were a couple messy minutes of disentangling from each other and blindly tossing the condom aside, but once separate Eggsy immediately back rolled onto Harry. He threw an arm across Harry's chest and buried his face into his neck like he belonged there.

“So fuckin’ good.”

He rubbed a hand up and down Eggsy's back, still in a giddy stupor from his orgasm. Eggsy's previous words drifted back across his consciousness. “Eggsy?”

“Yeah, Harry?”

“Did you say that you _loved_ me?”

The breathing against his collarbone stilled. “I might’ve”

“Well, I love you too.”

Eggsy tilted his head up and looked at Harry with a mix of surprise and joy. “You mean that?”

He cupped Eggsy's cheek, trying to show with his eyes exactly _how much_ he loved him. “I do.”

“Well,” he snuggled back against Harry's chest. “That's brilliant.”

They stayed like that for a long while, just breathing against each other's chests and softly kissing in between sweet words.

There was a sudden ring on the Kingsman tablet and Eggsy glared at it.

“How expensive are those fuckin’ things?”

“Not terribly so. Wait, what are you-?”

Eggsy swung a lazy arm at the nightstand and knocked the tablet to the ground where it stopped ringing.

“Don't wanna be bothered right now” Eggsy grinned at him and raised an eyebrow. “What, did you _want_ to take that call?”

Harry pulled him in and kissed that smile. “I’ve got better things to do right now, wouldn't you say?”

“Speaking of _do_ ,” Eggsy straddled Harry's lap with a devious glint in his eye. “I’ve got a trick or two myself.”

“Oh?” Harry ran his hands up and down Eggsy's thighs, feeling eager and young again. Maybe the body swap had some residual effects after all.

Eggsy rolled against Harry, his cock already twitching with anticipation again. “You ready, _darling?_ ”

“Always, Eggsy my love.”  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated as always.
> 
> Alsooo for those aware of my multiple psueds, I'll be posting Kingsman fic under my Marvel fandom psued because, well, its a comic book so it counts ;)


End file.
